When you have cheated yourself

Date: 1 December 2023. Honestly, this has been coming for a long time, this topic.

I don’t know about you guys, but I have cheated myself out of ease and peace in the past, by not trusting God and his plan for my life (and it has stopped, we thank God).

In 2016, I hear God say start a blog, I hmm’ed and ahh’ed (basically not trusting), argued, brought arguments, reasons, excuses after excuses, about why God’s basically got it wrong.

I said what can I say, what do I know, why me.

Every excuse was dismissed, shot down. I never forgot about the blog, through the years. I went from wanting to start to not wanting to start.

I wrote about this topic, quite a few times but I didn’t publish it, same with the other posts I wrote.

But this month that passed (November 2023) and today. I have been seeing a lot about trusting in God.

Today, I watched the hood healers live, that she posted yesterday, and I realised again that, in the past I was walking in fear and not with God. But God has never left me or given up on me, even when I stopped, God carried me though.

The other day, I had a conversation with my mum, that I didn’t like the end of, she said: “she couldn’t believe that God had asked me to start the blog, because I had not done it and how could I not listen to God who created me” and “I don’t know what could of happen (if I listened to God) or who I might have been reached or who needed the message”

I could not deny that she is right, but honestly, I didn’t like hearing the truth, as l felt guilty thinking of the time that I had wasted, the topics I had not written and maybe the someone who I didn’t reach at their time of need.

But I cannot change or focus on the past, I can focus on the present and thank God for pushing me forward to my purpose.

So, what now, the other day I heard “online”? diary, it’s funny cause I promised myself that I would release/write one post a month at least. But God said I can do more so I shall.

Peace family. don’t cheat yourself

20/12/2023 – quick ending as I am typing this

Three things – God has always has you and Shandice wrote the following and it sums up my thoughts beautifully “and know that you are not behind. Dear purposeful women (and man), you are just on time”

I hope you know that you can play yourself, but God will never play you. God is always waiting for you, guiding you back when you have lost your way and carrying you when you cannot walk.

Lastly, I still don’t know why God wants me to do this blog, but you know what’s funny, I am actually enjoying writing, and I will pray that God guides this whole journey.

And KNOW that no matter what God has asked you to do, no one can do it like YOU can. Even if there are millions of people doing something seemly similar to what you have been asked to do. If your are scared or like me you have thousands of reasons not to try, please try.

Please take one step at a time, you will reach your purpose and God will send people and things to help you on your journey.

“And know that you are not behind. Dear purposeful women, you are just on time” – taken from shandice’s community post dated 17/12/2023

Shandice’s youtube channel link – https://youtube.com/@ShandiceStallworth?si=eUvEYOoy6umFz5mZ

Image – taken by me on night of 2 December 2023 of a star in the nights sky

Song – Know that you are loved by Cleo Sol

Lyrics

Know that you are loved